I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
