As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
