i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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