He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
