At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize