My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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