Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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