Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I believe in your delicious
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
