You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
