Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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