Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
