Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
