i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
