Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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