Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Operation Purity has been aborted
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
