you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
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Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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