whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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