Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize