i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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