I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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