WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
