You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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