If you die in college, do you die in real life?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
