Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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