I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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