you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
