the new term for farting is butt boxing.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
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a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
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Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.