Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.

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(702): View more from Nevada

That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!

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(703): View more from Virginia

Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You guys are open that late?

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17 Guys Share When Their Parents Found Their Porn Stash
Read it at the TFLN blog
(616): View more from Michigan

Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.

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(937): View more from Ohio

she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game

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(609): View more from New Jersey

imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive

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(503): View more from Oregon

Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.

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(619): View more from California

My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?

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