Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan

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  (616): this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan http://tfl.nu/llmd
  Replies (37) Good night (4014) Bad night (1640)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  just found the deal breaker

  (1-251): View more from Alabama

  hairy back?

  (251): View more from Alabama

  he can't live within 1000 ft of a school

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  (251): just found the deal breaker (1-251): hairy back? (251): he can't live within 1000 ft of a school http://tfl.nu/kwkd
  Replies (73) Good night (1151) Bad night (14515)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?

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  (908): why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it? http://tfl.nu/3moc
  Replies (52) Good night (1942) Bad night (4883)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.

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  (914): i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls. http://tfl.nu/57re
  Replies (23) Good night (8443) Bad night (1739)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for

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  (304): Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for http://tfl.nu/goo7
  Replies (27) Good night (10363) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.

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  (403): He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love. http://tfl.nu/9ope
  Replies (7) Good night (2579) Bad night (855)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable

  (678): View more from Georgia

  not having any beer money sounds even more miserable

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  (770): I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable (678): not having any beer money sounds even more miserable http://tfl.nu/amg8
  Replies (3) Good night (2109) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now

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  (+44): I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now http://tfl.nu/a890
  Replies (3) Good night (1350) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.

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  (775): Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think. http://tfl.nu/vd5v
  Replies (2) Good night (603) Bad night (1091)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  ... and if i was..

  (213): View more from California

  Fuck. You.

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  (213): Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten. (201): ... and if i was.. (213): Fuck. You. http://tfl.nu/ty6i
  Replies (5) Good night (1862) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.

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  (603): He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss. http://tfl.nu/zi8c
  Replies (3) Good night (775) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.

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  (202): I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney. http://tfl.nu/fw2g
  Replies (18) Good night (777) Bad night (1096)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE

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  (443): Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE http://tfl.nu/kvc0
  Replies (9) Good night (1222) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.

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  (586): You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room. http://tfl.nu/ixnv
  Replies (0) Good night (508) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that

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  (908): it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that http://tfl.nu/wsh1
  Replies (1) Good night (492) Bad night (281)

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