well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
