Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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