i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
