I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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