I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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