if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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