So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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