But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
