I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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