He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
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