spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
