I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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