the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
