I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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