Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
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He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
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Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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