hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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