Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
