someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
