He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
