She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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