I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
