You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize