They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize