i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
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thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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