I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
