Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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