Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
