Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
